It’s often said that experience is the best teacher, but is it? While experience offers real-world exposure, it’s not always the key to mastery. Too many people mistake "experience" for "practice", believing that simply being involved in real-time negotiations or decision-making equates to learning.

... The reality is far more complex—and far more dangerous to ignore!

The Problem with Experience Alone

When we enter real-world negotiations, we often carry a vested interest in the outcome. Success is predetermined in our minds based on the goals we’ve set, the pressure we feel, or the expectations others have placed upon us. This tunnel vision clouds our ability to objectively evaluate performance.

Even worse, real-time negotiations don’t typically allow us to fully understand what the other party could or could not agree to. There’s no opportunity to ask:

• What did I miss?
• What signals did I fail to notice?
• What could I have done differently?

Without structured reflection, feedback, or external critique, we rely solely on our own perspective—a dangerously limited and often biased lens. Experience alone becomes a feedback loop, reinforcing habits that may not serve us well and blinding us to alternative approaches.

Experience Without Feedback: Living with Blinkers

Relying purely on experience is like living your life with blinkers on. You see only what you want to see, or worse, only what you’re capable of seeing in that moment. Entire swathes of reality—other tactics, perspectives, and opportunities—go unnoticed. Over time, this narrow viewpoint can lead to stagnation or false confidence, leaving you vulnerable to challenges you haven’t prepared for.

The Art of Learning

True learning is an art form, one that requires deliberate effort and structure. While formal education may guide us in our formative years, many of us don’t fully comprehend its value at the time. Once we leave school or university, opportunities for structured learning often diminish unless we seek them out proactively.

Learning is not about simply gaining experience. It’s about *evaluating* that experience, *refining* your approach, and *broadening* your perspective. This can only happen through:

• Reflection: Taking time to consider what worked, what didn’t, and why.
• Feedback: Seeking input from others to challenge your assumptions and identify blind spots.
• Guidance: Working with mentors or coaches who can offer wisdom and expertise.
• Structured Practice: Engaging in environments where the stakes are low, allowing you to experiment, fail, and grow without fear of real-world consequences.

The Risks of Neglecting Practice

Failing to incorporate structured practice and feedback into your learning process is not just inefficient; it’s dangerous. Here’s why:

1. Reinforced Bad Habits: Without critique, you risk entrenching poor techniques or behaviours that may seem effective in the short term but falter in more complex situations.
2. False Confidence: Experience alone can create a misleading sense of mastery, leaving you unprepared for challenges that fall outside your comfort zone.
3. Limited Growth: Without diverse perspectives, you’re likely to repeat the same strategies over and over, missing out on the innovation that comes from exploring alternative approaches.

The Benefits of Structured Practice

On the flip side, structured practice—especially when guided by mentors, coaches, or clubs—provides a safe and enriching environment to hone your skills.

• Experimentation: Try new tactics without the fear of losing a deal or damaging a relationship.
• Feedback Loop: Gain insights from observers who can point out areas of strength and opportunities for improvement.
• Broad Perspective: Engage with people from different industries, cultures, and experiences to see negotiations through multiple lenses.
• Skill Mastery: Refine specific techniques through repetition until they become second nature.

Structured practice doesn’t replace experience; it enhances it. The combination of real-world exposure and deliberate practice creates a powerful cycle of learning and improvement.

Take Control of Your Learning Journey

If you’re serious about developing your negotiation skills—or any skill—don’t rely on experience alone. Seek out opportunities to practice in a structured way. Here’s how:

1. Join a Club: Look for negotiation or professional development clubs where you can practice in a supportive environment.
2. Find a Mentor: Connect with someone who has the experience and insight to guide you and provide constructive feedback.
3. Invest in Coaching: Work with a professional who can tailor advice and exercises to your specific needs.
4. Engage in Peer Learning: Collaborate with others to share experiences, exchange ideas, and learn collectively.

Final Thoughts....

"The art of learning is a lifelong pursuit. While experience provides valuable exposure, it’s only when paired"